The most effective pickup line ever

"Hey wanna make a baby, but like without the baby?"

This is 100% foolproof, I am not lying. It has never failed me so far. I mean there’s maybe a 1% chance that it only works because of my rack but I’m just gonna give that line all the credit. 

Life Protip: If youre going to have your boarding pass on your phone, delete your sexy pictures so the flight people dont see them when you pull up your pass.

I feel like I should be more embarrassed by that than I am

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No quiere novio - Tego Calderon

this right here. relevant.

"Cierra algunas puertas, no por orgullo, sino porque ya no te llevan a ninguna parte".

"Uno de los mayores placeres de la vida es hacer lo que la gente dijo que nunca ibas a poder hacer".

"I dont want anything serious, but I dont want to share you with anyone else"
Well guess what honey? I’m not an object and I dont belong to you. Last I checked youre just a guy I fuck once a week and then kick out after the deed is done. I’m the one sharing myself with you and you better be counting your lucky stars for that.
So you can either have some of it, or none of it papi, your choice.
Fucking men tho

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